The Simpsons Fan Fic
by DanteEXX
Summary: There really isn't one central plot to this fan fic. It's The Simpsons like you've seen 'em before.
1. Chapter 1

Not so long ago...in a city far, far away...

"Homer, how many times have I told you to not do that to the television?!" A woman with a somewhat raspy voice scolded the overweight man with the balding head. "Marge," He said, "I'm only trying to make it more enjoyable for the whole family. Besides, I've never done this before, so it's impossible for you to have told me." He stated. Homer was in the living room, trying to set up the TV so it can hang off the wall, despite it being a box and weighed hundreds of pounds. Marge rolled her eyes and told him, "I did, it's in your contract!" Homer stopped what he was doing and turned to her. "What contract?" Marge pulled out a stack of papers and showed Homer a sentence which stated: _Homer will not try to hang things in the living room. This includes Santa's Little Helper, the couch, the television, and the kids._ Homer looked up to her in disbelief. "I didn't sign anything like this!" He uttered in a high pitched voice! "You did, Homie, when the Superbowl was on." "No fair!" Homer shook his fist, "You know that's when I'm most vulnerable!" Marge crossed her arms and stared at Homer, who finally gave in and decided to put everything back to normal. She told Homer she was proud of him, but he still felt a little down.

Sometime later in the day, the Saturday sun beamed down onto the residents of Springfield. Most of the students that went to Springfield Elementary were out enjoying themselves, but not the troubled Bart Simpson. He was stuck in Saturday school on account of putting laxatives in the teachers' coffee. He sat there in his regular class, all alone except for the principal of the school, Seymour Skinner. Skinner sat at the teacher's desk looking over the school grades. Bart was loudly tapping his fingers against the desk, hoping to get on Skinner's nerves. Bart was successful when Skinner yelled out, "Stop that!" after hearing it for twenty minutes straight. Bart let out a short chuckle, "Come on, Principal Skinner, why can't you just let me go, man?" The principal looked up from the papers. "Because this is your punishment, and if you don't serve it, you won't learn anything about responsibility." "Like it's worked before..." Bart muttered under his breathe. "Don't you have anything better to do on a Saturday then to watch me all day?" Skinner scoffed, "Well of course I do." Bart grinned, "Maybe you can go out and get some woman," He walked over and placed his hand on his shoulder, "I'm sure they'll dig a school principal like yourself." The principal glared at Bart. "Do I detect some sarcasm in that sentence?" "What? Noooo! I REALLY think you're a ladies-man." "Sorry, Bart," Skinner said in an intelligent way, "I know what you're trying to do. I'm not that gullible." Bart sighed and headed back to his seat. "This blows" He groaned. "This blows hard..."

Back at the Simpsons' house on Evergreen Terrace, Homer is in the kitchen taking a beer out of the fridge. Marge walked in and took a can out of the cupboard. "Don't forget to pick up Bart in half an hour" She stated. Homer pulled his head out the fridge and turned to her. "Pick up Bart? Where'd he go this time, Antarctica?" Marge poured the substance that was in the can into a bowl. "No, he said he was going to be at Milhouse's until 3:00. Which is ironically the same time his school gets out..." She started to get out the eggs. "Milhouse? He lives just around the block!" Homer complained and walked away, grumbling. "...lousy slacking kids these days..." He sat at the couch and turned on the TV. "Oooh, I have just enough time to watch Law & Order. One of the longest running shows on TV." He giggled a little. "ONE of the longest." The front door opened and Lisa came walking inside. She headed into the living room. "Dad!" She stated. Homer shushed her. "Not now, Bart! The bad man is gonna shoot the good man! OH, how realistic is that?!" He grinned. Lisa grabbed the remote and turned off the TV. Homer let out a long frustrated groan and slumped down in the couch. "What is it _this_ time?" Lisa frowned. "Dad, they're going to close the public library!" Homer stared at her with a blank expression.

"Then we'll have no libraries in Springfield!"

"..."

"I'll lose the only place I can study in peace!"

"..."

Lisa sighed, "Forget it... Just sign this petition..." She gave Homer a clipboard with a paper on it. He put on reading glasses and looked at it. "Uh...there's no signatures on here." Lisa growled at him and took the clipboard away and ran off. Marge walked in from the kitchen to see Lisa run upstairs. She let out a small groan and asked Homer, "What is it _this_ time?"


	2. Chapter 2

Bart impatiently moved the back of his foot up and down and clinched the end of his desk as he watched the clock. Skinner set down the papers he was checking and stood up. "Well, Simpson," He started, "I hope you learned your lesson this time. I'm not going to tolerate your behavior anymore! Next time you cause ruckus in this school you'll-" "3:00!" Bart jumped from his seat, interrupting his principal. "Catch you later, SkinButt!" He dashed out the class and started to run down the hall. He passed Groundskeeper Willie, who was mopping, and started to slide on the wet floor across the hall. "Cowabunga!" the boy uttered. Skinner watched from behind, and threw the palm of his hand against his face. Bart slid to the front of the school and stumbled through the doors. He hopped down the steps and grabbed his skateboard which he hid in a bush next to the school. After tossing it to the ground, he quickly jumped on and pushed himself forward with his foot. He headed straight across the street and then turned a corner around Krusty Burger.

At the Simpsons residence, Homer was heading to the car to go pick up Bart. He didn't even bother to put on pants, as he just got in with his underwear showing. The car started, and Homer pulled out of the drive-way, and drove down the street. At the same time, Bart was racing through Springfield. After turning the corner, he reached the park and was headed for a bench. Acting fast, he jumped onto the bench, and ran across it, while pouncing over Helen Lovejoy, while the board smoothly rolled under, and he finally jumped back onto it and continued to ride. He turned back and laughed at her, but as he turned back around he discovered he was approaching a tree. He let out a low yelp before crashing into the tree. Bart flew off the board and slid across the floor, leaving a bruise on his arm. After a couple of seconds of shock, he jumped to his feet and made his way over to his skateboard. He got back on and started to ride the way he was heading. He came to a cross walk, but there was too much traffic to cross, so he grabbed the light pole to have himself quickly turn to the right and continue down the street. Although, the street didn't go too far and there was a wall at the end of the street. Bart placed his foot on the back of the board to slow himself down a little, and he turned his riding direction diagonally. As he was near the wall, he ollied up and flip his board to the side, and started riding on the wall. This only lasted around five seconds before he was dropped back down, but luckily, he was on the other side of the street. He headed straight through, passing Moe's Tavern and the Kwik-E-Mart and finally coming to a stop in front of Milhouse's home, just in time to see Homer drive from around the corner. Homer parked on the other side of the street and pressed on the horn. "Come on boy!" He yelled. "I have TV to watch!" Bart kicked up his board ran across the street and got into the car.

As soon as they arrived back at home, Homer ran out of the car and into the house. Bart followed behind, but at a walking pace. He dropped his board, then quietly made his way to the stairs and started to go up when Marge came into the room and said, "Hi, Bart! Did you have fun over at Milhouse's?" Bart turned to his mother and gave her a fake smile. "Nah, Milhouse swallowed a bug and cried for forty minutes. The usual!" He started to head upstairs but was halted by Marge again. "Bart. I want you to go help your sister." "With what?" He asked. "She's trying to save the library, and she needs help trying to get all the signatures to stop them from destroying it." Bart gasped and stated, "That's horrible!" Marge was shocked for half a second. "Wow, Bart, I didn't know you cared..." "No, I mean helping Lisa is horrible! Why am I being punished?! I didn't do anything wrong, I was at Milhouse's all day, remember? I couldn't have gotten in trouble! Or did they call here? I gotta check the messages!" Bart started to head to the kitchen but Marge grabbed his arm and prevented him from progressing. "I want you to get your tushie upstairs." Bart folded his arms across his chest. "If I help Lisa, so do you and Homer!" "No deal! Now march, mister!" "Aww, _come on_, man!" He started to drag his self up the stairs.

A knock was heard at Lisa's bedroom door. Lisa got up from her bed and opened it to see Bart standing there. "What do _you_ want, Bart?" She said in a monotone voice, expecting rudeness from him. He let himself in and sat on the edge of the bed. "Mom wants me to help you destroy the library or something." "I wanna SAVE the library!" "Yeah, that was it!" He remembered. Lisa smiled. "Well if you really want to help-" "Which I don't." Bart interrupted with a grin. "...then you can come with me to get signatures." She finished. Bart thought about it for a second. "Okay, sure. I'll go with you." He decided. Lisa smiled again. "With my brains and your...sister's brains, we'll still have a place to study." Bart scratched the back of his head. "...Right...we."

"We should start with Flanderses." Lisa suggested and they waltzed outside. Bart nodded in agreement. The little blond girl knocked on her neighbors' door. In no time, Rodd and Todd answered. "Hey," Bart said, "Where's Ned?" "Daddy went on a business trip." Rodd told him. Lisa looked around. "He left you here by yourselves?" "No," Todd started, "The babysitter has been sleeping for four days straight." Lisa decided to quickly change the subject. "Hey, would you two be interested in signing this petition? It's to save the only library in Springfield." Rodd looked at it and said "What about the school libr-?" "They're closing that one too!" Lisa lied. Todd shook his head. "Sorry, but we can't decide on anything big unless Daddy says it's okay." Lisa put her head down in disappointment. Bart looked over to her and felt pity. "Oh, but this isn't just for the library," He said. "It also puts funds that go to the church! And even Jesus gets a share!" Rodd and Todd both muttered, "Ooh!" Bart grinned, "Now wouldn't your father want this for Jesus?" Rodd and Todd both signed the paper as fast as they could. "That's for you Jesus!" Todd said, praying. Bart took the clipboard back and him and Lisa started to walk away. "Bart," She started to ask, "did you lie to them so they would sign the petition?" Bart smiled, "Well, that's the only way they were going to sign it, and I know how much this means to you." Lisa also smiled, "Oh Bart, _thank you_!" She gave him a hug.


	3. Chapter 3

After about two hours of going door to door and collecting signatures, Bart and Lisa had only two signatures left for the library to stay in Springfield. "So, who's left?" The spiky-haired demon asked. "Let's see," Lisa said while looking over the list. "...Lenny, Carl, Kirk, and then- Mr. Burns!" She gasped. Bart smirked and told her, "No problem, Burns and I are cool now, I'll get him to sign it!" He led the two up to Burns' mansion, and they rang the doorbell. Smithers, Mr. Burns' assistant, opened the door. "Simpson's kids!" He said, "What are you doing here?" "We want to talk to you and Mr. Burns." Lisa stated. Mr. Burns started to wobble over. "Smithers, who's at the door?" He asked. Smithers moved away from the door to led him through. "Ah...if it isn't Bart and Lisa..." He said with an evil smile. "Mr. Burns," Lisa held out the clipboard, "if you were to sign this petition it would mean everything to me!" Burns took the clipboard and looked over it. "Save the library? Well, that library has been around since I was young...about seventy I think." Bart grew tired. "Alright, can you just sign the paper?" Mr. Burns glared at the two youngsters. "How much will it cost me?" "Oh, nothing," Lisa said, "The only thing you'll be paying are taxes which will be raised by two percent and-" "TWO percent?" Burns shouted. "You know how much a wealthy man like myself has to pay in taxes? No deal! Now get away from my home!" "But sir!" Lisa begged. "Smithers," Burns commanded, "get the hounds." "No! N-no need for that...!" Bart stuttered. But once the two heard the sound of barking they fled away from the mansion, leaving Burns to say, "Excellent!"

At the home, Homer was in the basement trying to get rid of the rats that had been around for a couple of weeks. Homer placed cheese on a plate, and above the plate was a box that would fall and trap anything that touched the dish. "Alright, I'll just come back in an hour and my work will be done." He said proudly, leaving the basement. As he came out, Marge walked by. "Did you get rid of the rats yet?" She asked him. Homer crossed his arms and told her, "Relax, I have it taken cared of." This make Marge worry a little bit more. "Alright," she said, "as long as the house doesn't get destroyed, explode, or catch on fire." Homer started to sweat. "Right...of course." Marge smiled and walked away. He quickly sprang back down into the basement and put out a dynamite that was implanted in the box. "Phew.." He sighed in relief. When he looked down to the plate he saw that the cheese had disappeared. "Hmm?" He scratched his nearly-bald head. "I could have sworn I put cheese here!" He decided to shrug it off and headed up stairs to get more. After returning from the fridge with a new block of cheese he spotted a doughnut mysteriously sitting on the plate. "OOH!" He cried out in joy and ran over without question. When he bent over to pick it up, the box then fell onto his head and he started to waddle around. "_AHH_, I CAN'T SEE!" He yelled. Next thing he ended up hitting his head against a metal pipe with a large DING. Homer threw the box off his head, now angry, he stated, "Those **damn** rats want to play hardball do they? Well, just wait until I bring out the big guns." He chuckled evilly.

"Bart, Lisa, what's wrong? Did you get everyone to sign the petition?" Marge asked as they slumped through the door. "No, Mom..." Lisa said sadly with her head down. Bart, though, seemed to be the most upset. "No fair, this was the worse Saturday of my life. I want it back!" He complained about it while making his way upstairs. "We only needed two more signatures to save the library." Lisa sighed. Marge gave her a confused look. "You know, Lisa," she placed her arm on Lisa's shoulder, "You never asked for my signature, and your father hasn't signed it either." Lisa blank twice then slapped her face. "_OH_! Of _course_, how could I have been so dumb?" She held out the clipboard. "Would you, Mom?" She asked. Marge smiled, "I'll be honored to!" Taking the board, she wrote down her signature. "Thanks Mom! Where's Dad?" Lisa asked. "He's at the store, picking up some rat poison." Marge answered. "But I have a feeling he's out drinking with his friends." She was proved wrong when Homer busted through the front door, carrying large bags. "Dad, Dad! I need you to sign this petition now!" Lisa cried out, running up to him. Homer kept his eyes to the basement. "No, time!" He said. "I have some business to take care of!" Homer slowly made his way towards the basement door. Marge and Lisa both watched him make his way down the steps. The blue-haired woman turned back to her daughter. "Don't worry, sweetie," she said, "I'm sure he'll sign it in the morning." Lisa gave her mom a fake smile and preceding to her room.

Later that night, the sky was cloudy and rain poured outside. Water kept thumping against the basement window, and thunder was heard crackling. "Alright rats..." Homer said while setting up his new rat trap. "I think it's time you learned who's the boss around here." His hair lye across his face and he couldn't stop grinning insanely. After hours of working on it, he finally finished the strange contraption. He placed a block of cheese on another plate and started to laugh hysterically as thunder flashed on the other side of the window. Now feeling tired, he started to make his way up the basement steps, but lost his energy and suddenly collapsed on the stairs. He lye there, having a dream about the trap going off on all those rats that he hated so. He grinned as he slept, enjoying his diabolical dream.


End file.
